Will-o-bee-o-radoe-ox-la-homa
Jones' adventure
Will-o-bee-o-radoe-ox-la-homa (Will for short) was in his foot
doctor office where nobody could go without an appointment. Before he was
hired, his office stretched away into miles of Rocky Desolate. They
changed it to a normal office when he moved in. In the attic of his
office, Will regarded his invisible friend, who thumped his massive toenail in
a nauseating manner. "YIKES!" Will screamed. "What
is it?" his friend asked. "I was disturbed when I saw my
grandmother's skeleton in my attic." Will replied to his
friend. When Will came out of the attic and into the office again, his
friend was crouched down in the far corner of the room. He was listening
to the Athletes Foot Cream talk to him. Will asked "Yo! What
ya' doin' to dat cream ointment?" His friend answered, "Talkin'
to it. He has a very interesting life. Did you know that he was in the Second
World War Three?"
Will decided to give his friend a name. He called him Suava
Joe. Suava had bad mental problems, and always talked to inanimate
objects. Suddenly, a large man bursted into the room. Hey, yo, yo!
I have here an appointment to get my foot amputated! Will walked him to
the chair, which resembled a dentist chair. He strapped the man down and
proceeded to roll up his pant lag and remove his shoe and sock. Will
pulled out a bone saw from a nearby drawer and started it up. It made a
loud screeching sound. Will then cut off the man's left foot. The
man said "Hey, Thanks! Wait… you cut off the wrong foot! Why you… low life
scum… oh well, no harm done, I guess." The man hopped out of the
office. "Another job well done!" Will said.
Suava was sitting on his computer monitor. "Get off that! NOW!"
Will shrieked. Suava wasn't obeying him, so Will Imagined him exploding,
and sure enough, he did. Will's secretary came in and said, "What
was that noise?" Will responded, "Oh, that was just my invisible
friend exploding." "Oh, I see, now." She said.
The man was crossing the street on his one remaining leg.
Will looked out the window of his office and saw him. "HEY! YOU DIDN'T PAY
ME!" He screamed. The man just waved a will. A bus was coming
at him at 200-Miles Per Hour. "WATCH OUT!" Will yelled.
The man kept waving at Will. The bus hit him. He flew across the
street and hit a parking meter. He was paralyzed, so he got up and walked
to the hospital.
"Cheap Loser!" Will hollered. Will sat down in
the chair. He had set the saw in the chair after the man left and forgot
to turn it off. Will heard a sawing sound and got up. To his
surprise, his leg was severed. He went to pick up the saw to turn it off,
but ended up cutting off both of his index fingers. He hopped to the
hospital and got a prosthetic leg and hook fingers. On the way out, he
spotted the one-footed man. Will walked over to him and said, "I
hate you, you cheapskate!" They got into an intense argument, and
they both exploded into a big bloody fight. They fought forever, and died
at the age of 29. Will was one day away from his lifelong dream: living
to the age of 30. Nobody came to his funeral, because he didn't have any
family or friends, and it took place a landfill.
THE END